The Fuck-it Project (Peggy's version) and Friday rant (bargain: 2 for 1)
Thanks to Rigmor for 1. the inspiration for the title; and 2. for teaching me the word "rant".
Boy oh boy, what an intense life I am leading.
A-hem...note the ironic streak in my writing.
Tonight I'm going to stay at home as part of the Fuck-it Project, whose name is, I confess, copied from Rigmor's F.I.P., although it is an entirely different project.
MY Fuck-it Project is about not caring about things that are no longer priorities.
About spending Friday nights playing boring pieces that would make you fall asleep, except that you are so angry at the thought that this is the kind of music that a "popular" audience doesn't want to hear, and even less is it the kind of music that non-professional musicians of a brass band want to play.
About spending Friday nights playing bad music in an uninterested angry attitude, making the conductor furious at us not listening when he speaks but complaining to each other when we start a new piece that is so unbelievably bad that we can't believe our ears.
About spending Friday nights thinking that I have gone there to spend some time with my friends, only there is no break during rehearsals, because we begin at 9.20 p.m. now and we go on until 10.30 only, and I remember that we used to begin at 9 sharp, break at 10 until 20 past, then back until 11. We have tried to go back to that habit, but if even the conductor at 9 is still outside sorting out the parts and talking to somebody, what can the few adventurous ones do, who've already warmed up?
About spending Friday nights thinking that after playing we will go for a (quick or not too quick) drink and recap of our current situations, if only to know how things are going with university, only to see friends leaving five minutes after the end of rehearsals to go to a boring Irish pub for yet another night with their friends (and boy does it bug me: because we have tried a few times to go with them and stay with them and their friends, but the place is just PACKED with people, and you cannot physically sit down. Or hear, for what matters, for the music is break-my-ears-please loud).
About spending Friday nights being told off for people who have not come to rehearsals (and you are there), who have not helped with the chores or the preparation of the stage for some concert (and you were there with the usual 10 volunteers), who, who, who...And all the while you are thinking that some things are told and some are not, like why bother us and not tell off the real "bad" ones? Why bother me for missing one rehearsal and not say something to the girl with no sense of rhythm who plays percussion and comes to five rehearsals a year, usually once or twice before the date of the concerts? And she plays exceedingly bad, and when we listen to the recordings we are all mad, for all our efforts are wasted and all you can hear is one who has studied her part at home, maybe, but at her won tempo, and she can't care less about following the tempo we are going. Oh, I could go on for hours.
The Fuck-it Project is also about not feeling guilty anymore for missing a rehearsal, a dinner, a meeting where you are "always well accepted" but somehow they can make you feel like you are a guest, so speak freely, but remember, nothing you will say will make us change our minds.
It is about not feeling guilty for not going to yet another Sunday morning, come rain or sunshine, wearing the most uncomfortable of uniforms, playing and marching for hours, listening to boring speeches, carrying around a 8-kg saxophone (my back thanks), only to hear the conductor and the members of the board complain because we are only 30, and people should be more responsible about their duties towards the band.
It is about not caring if the time we used to spend together was really good and the time we are (not) spending together is real shit.
It is about doing things that I really like, and playing music for 5 year-old beginners is not exactly something I like (I used to play studies for saxophone for students of the 5th grade at music school, so the arrangement of some Italian pop song is not exactly like playing an adaptation from Paganini). So, if my Friday night can be more productive than this, if only because I will have one more running session or I will read more or write more, or just watch a movie (last time I actually watched a movie was...August, 28th. A movie-lover who doesn't watch movies...), then be my guest, I'll do something else.
Boy oh boy, what an intense life I am leading.
A-hem...note the ironic streak in my writing.
Tonight I'm going to stay at home as part of the Fuck-it Project, whose name is, I confess, copied from Rigmor's F.I.P., although it is an entirely different project.
MY Fuck-it Project is about not caring about things that are no longer priorities.
About spending Friday nights playing boring pieces that would make you fall asleep, except that you are so angry at the thought that this is the kind of music that a "popular" audience doesn't want to hear, and even less is it the kind of music that non-professional musicians of a brass band want to play.
About spending Friday nights playing bad music in an uninterested angry attitude, making the conductor furious at us not listening when he speaks but complaining to each other when we start a new piece that is so unbelievably bad that we can't believe our ears.
About spending Friday nights thinking that I have gone there to spend some time with my friends, only there is no break during rehearsals, because we begin at 9.20 p.m. now and we go on until 10.30 only, and I remember that we used to begin at 9 sharp, break at 10 until 20 past, then back until 11. We have tried to go back to that habit, but if even the conductor at 9 is still outside sorting out the parts and talking to somebody, what can the few adventurous ones do, who've already warmed up?
About spending Friday nights thinking that after playing we will go for a (quick or not too quick) drink and recap of our current situations, if only to know how things are going with university, only to see friends leaving five minutes after the end of rehearsals to go to a boring Irish pub for yet another night with their friends (and boy does it bug me: because we have tried a few times to go with them and stay with them and their friends, but the place is just PACKED with people, and you cannot physically sit down. Or hear, for what matters, for the music is break-my-ears-please loud).
About spending Friday nights being told off for people who have not come to rehearsals (and you are there), who have not helped with the chores or the preparation of the stage for some concert (and you were there with the usual 10 volunteers), who, who, who...And all the while you are thinking that some things are told and some are not, like why bother us and not tell off the real "bad" ones? Why bother me for missing one rehearsal and not say something to the girl with no sense of rhythm who plays percussion and comes to five rehearsals a year, usually once or twice before the date of the concerts? And she plays exceedingly bad, and when we listen to the recordings we are all mad, for all our efforts are wasted and all you can hear is one who has studied her part at home, maybe, but at her won tempo, and she can't care less about following the tempo we are going. Oh, I could go on for hours.
The Fuck-it Project is also about not feeling guilty anymore for missing a rehearsal, a dinner, a meeting where you are "always well accepted" but somehow they can make you feel like you are a guest, so speak freely, but remember, nothing you will say will make us change our minds.
It is about not feeling guilty for not going to yet another Sunday morning, come rain or sunshine, wearing the most uncomfortable of uniforms, playing and marching for hours, listening to boring speeches, carrying around a 8-kg saxophone (my back thanks), only to hear the conductor and the members of the board complain because we are only 30, and people should be more responsible about their duties towards the band.
It is about not caring if the time we used to spend together was really good and the time we are (not) spending together is real shit.
It is about doing things that I really like, and playing music for 5 year-old beginners is not exactly something I like (I used to play studies for saxophone for students of the 5th grade at music school, so the arrangement of some Italian pop song is not exactly like playing an adaptation from Paganini). So, if my Friday night can be more productive than this, if only because I will have one more running session or I will read more or write more, or just watch a movie (last time I actually watched a movie was...August, 28th. A movie-lover who doesn't watch movies...), then be my guest, I'll do something else.
posted by Peggy @ 5:09 PM
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