Welcome, shop-a-holics of the new world
Yes folks, let's raise our glasses to my entry in the magical world of size 44 (I think it is size 10 for the UK).
Less than an hour after the beginning of the shopping day, the result was as follows:
Shop-a-holic friend: 0
New-size-44 me: 5
By the end of the day my self-esteem was high up in the clouds and my daydreams a lot brighter (and the final result was 3-7...).
Not that this means that I will suddenly get an invitation from the B&S guy just because now I have dropped a size. But still, confidence: confidence is good. Confidence makes me look in the mirror and think "Decent" rather than "Awful". Confidence makes me feel less shy, somehow, even though it doesn't solve the problem of the girlie girls lightly jumping around the gym.
To celebrate, yesterday I ran.
I ran so much I could hear my legs scream.
As a result of over-training and under-eating, I spent a sleepless night (light off at 23.30, just not sleepy, then woke up at 3.30, at least there was "Dancer in the dark" on tv, so I watched it, then went back to bed, tossed and turned for about an hour - I kept checking the time-, woke up at 6.20 thinking I had heard my radio alarm going off, started thinking confusingly about calling sick at work, dropped to sleep until almost 7, woke up definitely at 7.10 for coffee and a thermos of liquorice tea to bring at work. Running the 10K was a lot easier than spending this sort of night).
As a result, my mind is clouded and I cannot focus on the massive amount of paperwork neatly divided in my file. And my writing lacks verve, today, I'm so tired.
Thank God my boss is abroad until Thursday, although so far he's called me five times already...
I have been thinking about my next actions with the B&S guy (BTW, notice that in spite of my decision to give myself only one week more - expired by now - and to brainwash, my mind is still on that one single track): it is a crazy plan, actually, so as a precaution (call it superstition) I will not write it here.
Instead I'll try to stick to this decision, not let time pass and my miserable me take over.
I'm just so damned scared.
My mantra for the days to come:
Obstacles are those frightening things that we see when we take our eyes off our goals.
Or close to this.
Less than an hour after the beginning of the shopping day, the result was as follows:
Shop-a-holic friend: 0
New-size-44 me: 5
By the end of the day my self-esteem was high up in the clouds and my daydreams a lot brighter (and the final result was 3-7...).
Not that this means that I will suddenly get an invitation from the B&S guy just because now I have dropped a size. But still, confidence: confidence is good. Confidence makes me look in the mirror and think "Decent" rather than "Awful". Confidence makes me feel less shy, somehow, even though it doesn't solve the problem of the girlie girls lightly jumping around the gym.
To celebrate, yesterday I ran.
I ran so much I could hear my legs scream.
As a result of over-training and under-eating, I spent a sleepless night (light off at 23.30, just not sleepy, then woke up at 3.30, at least there was "Dancer in the dark" on tv, so I watched it, then went back to bed, tossed and turned for about an hour - I kept checking the time-, woke up at 6.20 thinking I had heard my radio alarm going off, started thinking confusingly about calling sick at work, dropped to sleep until almost 7, woke up definitely at 7.10 for coffee and a thermos of liquorice tea to bring at work. Running the 10K was a lot easier than spending this sort of night).
As a result, my mind is clouded and I cannot focus on the massive amount of paperwork neatly divided in my file. And my writing lacks verve, today, I'm so tired.
Thank God my boss is abroad until Thursday, although so far he's called me five times already...
I have been thinking about my next actions with the B&S guy (BTW, notice that in spite of my decision to give myself only one week more - expired by now - and to brainwash, my mind is still on that one single track): it is a crazy plan, actually, so as a precaution (call it superstition) I will not write it here.
Instead I'll try to stick to this decision, not let time pass and my miserable me take over.
I'm just so damned scared.
My mantra for the days to come:
Obstacles are those frightening things that we see when we take our eyes off our goals.
Or close to this.
posted by Peggy @ 10:40 AM
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