IAN
Sunday, 8th – early afternoon
Oh boy what is going on here...
I went to the IT centre after leaving a message to say that whatever his plans were I would have liked to join him. After a while I went back home and as I started climbing to number 28 I saw him before me and I knew he was going to number 28 too, to call me. We meet in front of my house, “good timing”, he says, and invites me over for a cup of coffee. We have lunch with T., who then leaves us alone, and we keep talking for a while, before he gets up to do the dishes. I asks him if he needs a hand, and he replies that “you can talk to me while I do them” (you call that a hand, I say?, and we laugh). He notices that I keep on sighing. When he finishes he talls me that he’ll walk me home, and on the way to number 28 he asks me if I have a boyfriend at home, and I say no, and we talk about being independent and getting lonely. Out of number 28 we are both reluctant to say goodbye, we chat a little more, then we say goodbye. I enter the house and I am so happy I cannot wipe a smile off my face.
I think about last night, when we went to the Slope and spent some time after, sitting next to one another outside, before going inside and watching the last part of the Live Earth with Madonna singing; eventually we sit down and after a while T. leaves us alone (about time too…), and we talk a bit more, before the pub staff chases us away and we head home. On the way up he asks me about my thoughts prompted by our conversation of the evening before, and I try to explain a few things. We keep on talking. Eventually he tells me that “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, I’m a bit of a shy person”, and this is when we both agree on the importance of deep conversations over superficial chats, and I get to tell him about my feeling of “I want to know what makes you happy so I will be able to make you happy”. When we get home (we get lost a few times) he tells me that he will pop up sometimes the day after, and he says that he will probably go to church, which is when I should have asked him if he wanted me to go with him, but I was too overwhelmed by feelings. We say goodnight.
Boy oh boy...
I feel our hearts and souls singing together, I swear I do. Whatever he says seems to be coming straight out of my mind, when our eyes meet I lose the power to speak. When he asked me if I had a boyfriend my heart missed a beat; when I think of him my heart misses more than a beat. I feel hungry and the thought of eating is unbearable. I feel shaky. As I’m writing this I am nearly crying, and I don’t know if it’s from joy or what.
Someone please help me.
Sunday, 8th – evening
I’m shaking and I can’t stop. I feel like I’m going to cry, and it is joy I feel.
Do you wanna hold hands, he said, and he caressed my hand after we tried to find a position to entangle them together. Cold hands, warm heart.
We sit there talking a little, our fingers caress each other’s hand.
We go for a walk, our hands locked together, we talk, we smile, we are silent as we walk around. He holds my hand, holds it tight, squeezing it, caressing it. Sometimes he pulls me near.
Before I came here I prayed to God that He would give me a girlfriend.
My heart sing in joy at the sound of his words.
Our hands are locked together, getting warmer, holding each other’s tight, when I squeeze his he squeezes mine, caressing it.
We arrive home, and we say goodbye; I enter the house in a fog, unable to think.
You’ve already given me an incredible gift just by holding my hand, I say. I’m happy too, he replies.
He says my hair has a nice colour; he says that I’m very nice.
I go to the kitchen and put on the kettle, I put away the dishes in the cupboard. I am still carrying my bag on a shoulder, my hand is shaking, still warm from his.
I go to my room and I start writing.
I prayed to God that He would give me a girlfriend.
Do you wanna hold hands?
Do you wanna hold hands?
Do you wanna hold hands.
Boy what have you done to me.
Oh boy what is going on here...
I went to the IT centre after leaving a message to say that whatever his plans were I would have liked to join him. After a while I went back home and as I started climbing to number 28 I saw him before me and I knew he was going to number 28 too, to call me. We meet in front of my house, “good timing”, he says, and invites me over for a cup of coffee. We have lunch with T., who then leaves us alone, and we keep talking for a while, before he gets up to do the dishes. I asks him if he needs a hand, and he replies that “you can talk to me while I do them” (you call that a hand, I say?, and we laugh). He notices that I keep on sighing. When he finishes he talls me that he’ll walk me home, and on the way to number 28 he asks me if I have a boyfriend at home, and I say no, and we talk about being independent and getting lonely. Out of number 28 we are both reluctant to say goodbye, we chat a little more, then we say goodbye. I enter the house and I am so happy I cannot wipe a smile off my face.
I think about last night, when we went to the Slope and spent some time after, sitting next to one another outside, before going inside and watching the last part of the Live Earth with Madonna singing; eventually we sit down and after a while T. leaves us alone (about time too…), and we talk a bit more, before the pub staff chases us away and we head home. On the way up he asks me about my thoughts prompted by our conversation of the evening before, and I try to explain a few things. We keep on talking. Eventually he tells me that “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, I’m a bit of a shy person”, and this is when we both agree on the importance of deep conversations over superficial chats, and I get to tell him about my feeling of “I want to know what makes you happy so I will be able to make you happy”. When we get home (we get lost a few times) he tells me that he will pop up sometimes the day after, and he says that he will probably go to church, which is when I should have asked him if he wanted me to go with him, but I was too overwhelmed by feelings. We say goodnight.
Boy oh boy...
I feel our hearts and souls singing together, I swear I do. Whatever he says seems to be coming straight out of my mind, when our eyes meet I lose the power to speak. When he asked me if I had a boyfriend my heart missed a beat; when I think of him my heart misses more than a beat. I feel hungry and the thought of eating is unbearable. I feel shaky. As I’m writing this I am nearly crying, and I don’t know if it’s from joy or what.
Someone please help me.
Sunday, 8th – evening
I’m shaking and I can’t stop. I feel like I’m going to cry, and it is joy I feel.
Do you wanna hold hands, he said, and he caressed my hand after we tried to find a position to entangle them together. Cold hands, warm heart.
We sit there talking a little, our fingers caress each other’s hand.
We go for a walk, our hands locked together, we talk, we smile, we are silent as we walk around. He holds my hand, holds it tight, squeezing it, caressing it. Sometimes he pulls me near.
Before I came here I prayed to God that He would give me a girlfriend.
My heart sing in joy at the sound of his words.
Our hands are locked together, getting warmer, holding each other’s tight, when I squeeze his he squeezes mine, caressing it.
We arrive home, and we say goodbye; I enter the house in a fog, unable to think.
You’ve already given me an incredible gift just by holding my hand, I say. I’m happy too, he replies.
He says my hair has a nice colour; he says that I’m very nice.
I go to the kitchen and put on the kettle, I put away the dishes in the cupboard. I am still carrying my bag on a shoulder, my hand is shaking, still warm from his.
I go to my room and I start writing.
I prayed to God that He would give me a girlfriend.
Do you wanna hold hands?
Do you wanna hold hands?
Do you wanna hold hands.
Boy what have you done to me.
Labels: Love, mind and heart
posted by Peggy @ 9:26 AM
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