Goodbye to a stranger

Friday, 23rd

The office where my mother works has moved, after some thirty years, from one location to another spot in town. When I took that Friday off, last month, after the dinner with bookshop friends, I went to see how things were going, since they were moving all the stuff and trying to arrange the (badly planned) space for everyone.
I arrived on a hot morning, after walking all the way from home to the post office and from the post office to mum’s new head quarter. There were lots of people busy emptying boxes, moving tables and chairs, calling from room to room, there were electricians in the way, and a van outside the side doors with some guys downloading more chairs and putting them right where people were passing, or in the corridor.
In the shadowy rooms (no lights on yet) there was a short fat woman with a headscarf who looked at me in a sort of suspicious, or just curios, way: I imagine she was trying to figure out who I was, since I bear no resemblance whatsoever with my mother (I’m my father’s portrait, apparently).
I knew at once who the woman was, since she was the daily subject at home: first because of a diet she had been forced to go through, which would see her begin the week with half an apple for breakfast and gradually increase the quantity of food to a whole dish of pasta for lunch on Sunday, so that her metabolism would rise and she would lose some weight.
Then I heard of her because she would come to work for a week and take a month off on sick leave. Then because she would go back to work but was too tired to do anything and the colleagues would be bitchy about it.
Then because she spent the day crying in her office.
Then about her coming to work wearing a wig, only to see if she could pretend she still had her hair and things were going all right.
Then about her being too tired to work and the bosses deciding to put her on part-time but keeping her wage as a full-time worker.
Finally, about her saying that she had asked her doctor about any hopes, and the doctor replying that she couldn’t tell whether she would live or die.
Last week she called sick at work and went back to the hospital, where the doctor told her husband that she was now at the final stage: the cancer had spread everywhere, everywhere. I had this image of black stuff, airy-like, but flowing and filling her body like water, and unstoppable, silent, deadly just like uncontrollable water.
My mum went to see her but they couldn’t talk much because she would doze off every two words. The colleagues were organising to go visit her, but her husband said she was too weak and couldn’t receive any visitor; the doctor said it was a matter of days now.
Last night she died. Today it would have been her 49th birthday.
I didn’t know her. But God, am I sorry.
Although after all, I believe it’s better that she passed away now, and not after months and months of expensive and useless pain killers administered in an expensive private clinic too far from home, where her friends and family couldn’t go see her every day, and unbearable pain that she alone would have to feel.
May she rest in peace now.

Update by instalments - end of the week at last

Friday, 23rd

The last update before I post this exceedingly long one.
I’m sipping peppermint tea and trying to recover from my sleepless night…I woke up some time before 4 (you read me, lousy 4 a.m.) and when I realised I wasn’t going back I did what I was meant to do: computer, headphones, and the first two episodes of my beloved. How cute, how wow.
Last night I did a pretty good workout, and I was complimented upon by the train-man, who is a runner like me. News are that there is going to be another dinner with the people of the gym before Easter, which is always good news since I love going out for dinner. If I had no problems with money (as in, if I could just use it and not worry about paying for the house and the furniture and whatnot), I would set a night out every week. Anyway…
While on the treadmill, I was allowed to choose the music, because for the past week the same cd had been played over and over again…And after my choice (Lenny Kravitz, always good for a run), they put MY cd, the one I’d made for Christmas, and football guy (one of the trainers) suggested I make another one for Easter. They are all nice guys. They make me feel comfortable, and that’s priceless.
Note to self: must buy RW cd…
Finally, a few hours separate me from the weekend and I have just eaten a delicious crumbly mini cake brought from Epg who’s testing recipes for her baby’s first birthday party next week. She is a nice person, I understand that, kind and all: why does she make me feel so bad when we are working and when we are not she is gentle and offers me sweets? Damn – damn – damn!

One last thing, I promise (actually, one that is two…): this weekend the plan is to see all the applications I have found and saved on my computer, send the cv’s, and all that jazz. Oh, and cross my fingers.
Then, I am going to try and give it a go with the new Blogger, like putting labels on what I write, upload some pixies I got from genius brother, tidy up the mess…I’ll try that, really! After all, the way the weather is at the moment, I have doubts about my bike ride…But if you are reading this and you don’t notice any changes…well, be sure that I’m having a lot more fun on my bike riding by the river!

Update by instalments - ten things

One
I love “The Usual Suspects”. I tend to forget some feelings, but the excitement when I watch this movie, and noticing the tiny details, and remembering the lines, and the soundtrack, oh, it’s too good. I watched it again last night and it was just beautiful. (followed by not one, not two, but three episodes of my beloved. I was going for a fourth, but then thought better of it.)

Two
I still hope I can leave this awful place, if only because my alternative is to really get angry at the Epg one of these days, and god knows I wouldn’t like a poor innocent child to become an orphan before he’s really seen what she’s like.

Three
It is too hot to think about carrying any hot drink at work, but I must really give up hot chocolate from that evil machine. It’s not even good! …Come to think of it, last year this time I was doing exactly the same…Must be the fresh air of spring. Or this depressed mood I am in, which is going to be with me until the Epg is around…I see bleak times ahead.

Four
I have so many books to read! Where do I find the time, seriously? I know, I know…less S&H and more books. But guess what: I’m nearly over the addition: the way I’m curing it is by overdose! Three episodes per night equal end of season four by the beginning of April, and then I’ll be satisfied and will move on. Too cunning!

Five
Another bike ride planned for the weekend. Can’t wait. Now the weekend has become the REAL TIME, when I do what I really want, what I really like, what I really feel like doing. As I say, it should last more than a lousy 48 hours. And I shouldn’t have a two-floor house to clean either, thank you. When I have my own flat, I will try to optimise the time and not have to do any chores in the weekend. Then again, when I have my own flat, I will have a lot more free time every day, so there shouldn’t be any problem (picture me sleepless now, cleaning the bathroom or polishing the kitchen..if my parents saw me they would lock me up! At least if I’m alone and I feel energetic I can do something useful).

Six
Works on the house-to-be: the serial continues. But there are no real news, really, only the famous document to be signed by parents so that we all get a share. But to me, it isn’t likely that we begin in May…maybe end of May? Who knows…

Seven
My favourite number. It is clear that I am going to work for the next four/five years, but then I am so decided on that master in cinema studies. It’s a wave, I have lots of projects and ideas on what I would like to do, but then it all comes back to that. That’s why I am studying by myself and all that, while I wait for the wind to change. Again, patience is not exactly my strong point, though…

Eight
If my S&H addition is being cured by overdose, my new shop-a-holic me is a lot more difficult to manage. So I browsed the internet for about an hour on three different sites, looking for books to buy, and I have an urge to find some interesting dvd on sale too…I promised I wouldn’t buy anything of the kind till April, then I actually anticipated that to February, so honestly, I shouldn’t buy anything in April either…Can I resist? Well…they are books I “need” for my self-taught cinema studies nights…so I am a bit excused, right? I’ll try, come on!

Nine
I don’t feel like going on holiday. I mean, I do feel like taking days and weeks off work (that was clear), but not like travelling…which is totally unlike me. What I feel like doing is taking a trekking holiday in Northern Italy, and just spend my days with my backpack and the silence of a lonely walk in the woods. Maybe I’ll do that. Then again, I’ll be working in August, and I don’t know when my vacation will be. I remember three years ago, with no money and three weeks off, and lots of walks and bike rides and the world games on tv and sunshine and general relax. Not bad.

Ten
Just talked on the phone to girl from the job agency. Interview set on Monday at 12. I should talk to the boss’s wife tomorrow, if only to let her know that I’m not happy here, and see what she says. I won’t mention the interview, obviously. According to what she says and all, maybe I can decide how to act. I don’t even know if the guys of the other firm want to see me out of curiosity or if they are quite convinced on me already.

Time to go to the gym at last, and the weekend is getting closer. Can’t wait to take my bike, my books, and be in casual clothes for two whole (short) days.

Update by instalments - one

(Monday, 19th)

It is the beginning of another week and these are the main issues I’d like to point out:

- taking anti-allergies pills sucks: I am so drowsy I can barely stand up. I look like I’m on drugs and I don’t even get the high side of it.

- I washed my car on Friday and guess what: it’s raining today! After some 6 months without rain! I just knew it would…

- …and the rain means also that taking anti-allergies pills is not worth because I don’t really need them now, since pollen is not around now.

- First thing I am told today at work from the secretary is “next time you take a day off tell me too, ok? Because we were here alone and we didn’t know where you were”. Now, I know I didn’t tell you PERSONALLY, but surely you’ve heard me talking for an entire week of how on Friday I would go for blood analysis and such, right? And didn’t that make you think that MAYBE I would not be in?

- An hour later I hear the same by Epg. As if she minded telling me about her not being in last week for a whole afternoon, or being in two hours later the day before. No comment.

- I ate a lot of chocolate yesterday! I was possessed, I swear! Ok, ok, on Saturday I spent the whole afternoon cycling and then went home on foot (2 km on a hill), and on Sunday I also walked 6 km. Not to mention the super work-out on Thursday night (B&S guy shocked..the guy underestimates me!) But still. What is going on with me? (got a couple of answers, will spare you from that, be thankful now).

- Now, first the drowsiness for those useless pills; next will be the low pressure wave, like every summer, when I walk around like a ghost and I wake up only after 5 pm…good for a run but work is murder. Nothing else, I wonder?

- Oh, yes, something else, on the side of good news: I am back to writing. Seriously. I did write a lot yesterday, as I was trying to wake up after being unconscious on the sofa for a couple of hours in spite of Hitchcock on tv. My brain was over-flooding with ideas and things to write, so I got lost after a short while but kept writing none the less. This cauldron I have now created is the ground for a couple of interesting things…got to keep awake and work on those babes…(and I still had time for three episodes of my beloved…).

- Last but not least, I think I will be working in August: boss wants to keep the office open and the secretary’s already said that she won’t be there, whereas I’m quite sure that Epg will want to be home too because kindergarten’s closed. So I guess it will have to be me. And this is fine for me, mind! I’ll have the office by myself, with air conditioning vs. the unbearable heat outside; the telephone will never ring because every firm and factory is closed at that time of the year; there will be very little to do, just the archive and maybe some deliveries; I will have time to write and do all my research on Internet and everything should be all right. I think.

********************************************************************************
(Tuesday, 20th)

Here’s another day…boss not around this morning, will be here in the afternoon to superwork over the German files and the Mexican files, and can I point out that it is not likely to get ANYTHING accomplished? Not to be pessimistic but…
At lunch time I am actually going to another job agency (the same of two weeks ago, only in my town), for an offer I applied to some days ago. The girl knows me and she called me yesterday, describing the job in details (which they do only when they have in mind that YOU are the right person). I’m going there so she can tell me more(like what, I wonder? She told me everything yesterday!) and I can decide if it’s worth a try. Which seems likely. I guess it depends on how much I would be paid, now. This is definitely going to be a future update, and hopefully a good one. I can already picture myself giving notice here, and taking some 12 days off (vacation I have earned so far) to run, write, read, unwind and get ready for a new start. Somehow it feels good to know that maybe I can leave this gloomy place with the confidence of someone who’s already got a new place to go. Not an opportunity everybody has.

In other news, I have stopped taking those pills, and am now thinking about homeopathy or such. More on this interesting subject to follow (bet you can’t wait).

And finally, I oh so want to leave the country and move to England or…nearly everywhere, really. I have this incredible feeling of “the good ol’ times” taking hold of me and wrapping me and not letting me go, and I tell you, it’s awful. I think about the dinners at the Green House, about cycling at night to go to Tesco, about the breakfast table and bowls of crunchy cereals eaten in silence while the whole house is asleep after yet another wild night. I think about the campus and the gym, about the tables of the libraries and the benches outside, I think about the Students’ Union and the laundry room, about the pub and the coffee stand, about the classes and the streets.
Boy, it was an awful time, to be true: I put on weight because of all that bad food and beer, I had no friends for what seemed a lifetime, I had terrible housemates and no money.
Eventually I met the best friends of all times (all thanks to Shakespeare..long story), and spent the best three months of my life. Never a problem. Never an argument or anything like that. Only hugs and laughters and dinners together, and music and words.
And this incredible feeling of warmth.
It’s what I remember best: the warmth of the Green House, the warmth of the sun, the warmth of my friends’ hugs, the warmth of the colours in the pictures.
I miss that time. Indeed I do. I miss those friends. Their voices. Their smiles.

*******************************************************************************
(Wednesday, 21st)

On Wednesday morning…after a terrible Tuesday afternoon half spent crying in the bathroom.
I am scared.
Boss came in and said “come to my office, without the papers”. Uhm, prep talk coming up.
I’m scared.
What can I say?
That the Epg doesn’t like the way I work because I don’t do things like she’d want me to? That she wants to be the one who gives the orders and doesn’t accept that I have learnt something and can manage to do things by myself? That there are things that I know and that she doesn’t because she’s been away for a whole year and a hell of a lot of things have happened and still she wants to know more than me – like the packing of that stuff for Russia? How can I say all this without sounding like it’s all my fault and I am the only one who doesn’t go along with the other girls? How can I say this without feeling bad and without starting to cry, since I feel so low that yesterday I cried all the way to the gym (in the car and from the parking lot to the gym itself, until I met mum’s colleague and thought I’d better stop, in case she told my mum and she got worried). I find no reason to work because whatever I do is wrong and in any case nobody pays attention, they only notice the mistakes (which are rare, mind you: it’s not like I get everything wrong every day. It’s just a vicious circle, the more I am nervous the more I make mistakes, the more mistakes I make the more nervous I become…); I am also scared of doing things because I don’t like it when she points out every stupid tiny detail, and questions me over things I cannot have done just by myself (example: “why did you tell them this price for this product?”…. WHAT DO YOU THINK, SMART ASS? BECAUSE THE BOSS TOLD ME!!! What does she want to prove when she asks me these things?). I am scared of doing things because I never know if I have been given all the information and what if I haven’t? More shouts in my direction, and I can’t bear that.
I am low today too. I went to bed very early last night ( I was watching my favourite movie, The Usual Suspects, because it is so capturing that I cannot think about anything else) and I woke up earlier than usual this morning (some time after six…still sleepy but not apt to fall asleep again). My friend at the gym yesterday suggested that I take some days off on sick leave. I can just go to the doctor and explain the situation: he will call for a beginning nervous breakdown, I’m sure, because that’s what I’m going through, and he will give me a couple of weeks. Gym friend considers it to be a revenge, because I would leave Epg alone with the amount of papers to follow up with no help; me, I see it as a chance to get some time off and not worry, safe feeling extra bad when it’s time to go back. Anyway, I don’t know. Maybe I will really call sick one of these days.
In the meantime, I went to the job agency yesterday, and there is a chance I may be able to change; what worries me is that for the first months I wouldn’t be under the firm but under the job agency, with no certainty that at the end of that time I will be confirmed. Also, who knows about the wage? But then I say, if they pay me 100 euros less it doesn’t matter, as long as I am in a better place: mental health is priceless.

Believe or not, I'm back

First of all: LOUSY BLOGGER!!!!
It’s taken ages to set up an Internet connection from my laptop, more than a century to download the page and after about 5 minutes I am on the right page for a new post...Damn, this is going to be so difficult and annoying...
Anyway, on with a recap of the past days..Good luck!


Monday 5th

Update: in spite of the list of things to do, carefully written to organise my spare time properly and not succumb to the temptation of 25 fantastic dvd’s of Starsky & Hutch, I am spending my days and evenings watching…Starsky & Hutch. A beautiful book is by my bed, still at page 100-something, and more are piled on my table, and even more are on my wish list, not to mention the fact that when I think about cinema or fiction my first instinct is the scholar’s move to the nearest book of criticism on the subject, or alternatively, Google and Wikipedia. But still, those four shiny box sets on my desk…and the possibility to enjoy them whenever I want, and in the original language, tasting every little shape of the language, every pun, every accent and expression, and I haven’t talked of their cute faces…
You see the point: I’m addicted again.
This whole “Starsky & Hutch” thing began back in high school, when I watched a couple of episodes by utter chance (see: no choice between tv and Maths books); the guys got me hooked straight away.
Now, every time they are on tv, no matter when, I am in the very first row and watching in devoted silence. Maybe drooling a little.
They were back on tv a couple of months ago, at 1 pm, too cool, so my after-lunch pre-work time was all coffee and my guys. But, as there always is a “but”, I could never see any end of the episode, because I have to leave some five minutes (you hear me, five lousy minutes before the end! And usually those five minutes would pull all the strings to a great end!). So here’s the cool idea: buy the dvd’s!
(Note that two days after I took this important decision, a weekly magazine we have subscribed to started to sell the whole collection at 2 dvd’s per week, at a ridiculous high cost on the grounds that each dvd had special stuff like interviews or trailers. So clever me investigates and finds out that – obviously – buying the whole set off the Internet is a lot cheaper and a lot more satisfactory – and quicker – too. Cheering and applauding to clever me follows).
Well, first I buy two seasons, in chronological order. Then, while randomly looking for movies on offer and such, I step onto the last two seasons, with no intention to buy them before April at least, mind you! But they were at a discounted price, people! 30% off! And I had already put a couple of movies in my basket, ready for the check-out…I couldn’t leave them there alone…I’m sure you understand…
So, here I am now, a week and twelve episodes later, with a total addiction to the guys, and the physical need to rush home and put on a dvd, carefully selecting the episode I want to see. I’ve even thought I’d watch some while on the treadmill but luckily when I run I am very concentrated, and I can only listen to music, because if I have to understand and follow a story I must slow down (which has also ruined my plans of getting some audio-books to catch up on the little time for reading I have). So at least it’s not “bread and S&H” all day, or it would be trouble. But still, last night I said I would watch only one episode and then read, instead I watched three! (ok, ok…almost three…I was falling asleep when there were some 15 minutes to the end of the third, so I switched everything off and sank in my post-gym coma).
I’m not that bad, though: on Monday I did what I had to, that is I uploaded a lot of files from my ex computer to the laptop, and happily tidied all that lot. Then, and only then, did I watch one episode before going to bed. (then again, yesterday at lunch time I watched another one…after cleaning the kitchen and being the good housemaid I am, so you see, first duty then pleasure, right?).
Anyway, the point is: I’ve got to stop this. Where’s my willpower when I really need it?
Uhm, I guess it probably got lost into those beautiful blue eyes and rolled American “r”…(dammit!)

Wednesday, 7th

More update on the job side: I have an interview tonight. Well, it’s not exactly an interview, but one of those idiotic meetings set up by job agencies to look at your cv (printed from their own files, since you are registered with them) and ask you questions like “so now you’re working, hu?”; and “ok, since you have a degree in languages you can speak English, right?”; and again “since you have a degree in languages you want to be a teacher, eventually, correct?”.
Now, this last question: what is wrong with us graduates in modern languages? Do we all want to become teachers just because we have spent four or five years of our life hunched over books of literature and criticism? Just because we have spent a semester or two pondering over the magic of linguistics and philology? Can’t you people think that my brain is not exactly set on the scientific mode, and that if it was I would have studied biology or engineering or economics and by now I would be doing something more appropriate for my degree, and possibly something that I also like? ...
But no, I’ve studied languages therefore I must want to be a teacher…
Nevermind. Tonight’s interview is just to see what this job is about, and maybe they will want to fix me an appointment with the firm; but I’ll have to point out a couple of things which will make sure that I am not the person they are looking for: first, I don’t want to be hired for three, six, or even one month by intercession of the agency, at a ridiculous pay and without benefits or possibility to have days off, even when I’m sick (an excerpt from my autobiography: when I was working at the library, and unfortunately this happened right at the end of my first week, I was ill for the first time in years; so bad in fact, that I had to be taken to the hospital. Obviously I was recommended to stay at home for a couple of days; so I called work on Monday morning and said I was ill and would be back the day after. Then I called the job agency and said I was ill. The reaction was as follows – and please try to imagine the most annoying ducky voice – “oh, are you….- long, long pause here -…well, if you really must, then stay at home, but bring a certificate from the doctor as soon as possible, ok?”); second, the pay should be exactly as the one I’m getting here. And this is not going to happen, because here I’m extra well paid (sometimes I understand they pay me too much; because come on, this is the third day I’ve spent doing absolutely nothing, and what I do is not necessary, because a part-time secretary with little knowledge of English could do it, not a full-time graduate in English! Also, what I do is not necessary because nobody ever reads my confirmations of the orders, starting from my boss himself).
Anyway. This is all to say that no, I am not going to the interview thinking that my life will suddenly improve. Actually, I am almost thinking that I could stand them up, and go home and have my run, but come on, it wouldn’t be kind, especially since it was I who sent the application…At least I’m going there at 6.15, and they close at 6.30, so it won’t be long.


Monday, 12th

The week hasn’t really started too well: nobody reads what I write and we always have troubles in the accounting office because of this; I have been awake since 5.30, and whereas this is good because I could watch more S&H (ok, I’m addicted, so what. Lately it’s the only satisfaction I get from life) (still, on Sunday I watched 5 episodes!!! Sunday is a long day, and I could go for a walk, tidy my room and clean the kitchen properly, run my usual 90 minutes and shower, and there was still time for me, my bed and my dvd’s…), it is not good because beginning the week with an earlier awakening and an angry boss is not exactly the best start.

Good news: boss is leaving on Tuesday night.

More good news: one of our agents has brought some delicious cookies his wife makes, called desert roses, and they are superb! A nice coffee break.

Every Monday is the beginning of a search for another job, be it in England or anywhere else. I don’t know if I just want to change job as in change what I do, or as in change where I do it. Then again, I don’t like what I do. Case closed. The search continues.

I’m taking Friday off, and seriously, I can’t wait. I have to go and make some more blood analysis (again) to see if I’m still anaemic or if I can donate, and then the whole day is going to be for me: I plan to run, shop for birthday presents, enjoy the day and the sun. No computer. Except for playing dvd’s…

What more…talks of the-house-that-will-be continue. Latest news are that all the relevant documents will be deposited at the council’s office after father signs some act that divides the house in 6 parts, so that we both get a piece. After that, and after the council accepts the documents (that is, doesn’t say no within a month), we can start; I guess it’s going to be in May, really. I have my own copy of the project for my apartment and I am thinking of how the kitchen can be arranged, since it will be the only thing I will buy (rest of the furniture will be my current stuff).
But the house excitement has cooled off, I must say: too many things have happened during these months, and my increasing dissatisfaction with my life has not made things any clearer or easier.
I still want to leave. I still don’t know what to do. (U2 would sing “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”).
I wish I could take some sort of sabbatical year and leave everything behind, clear my mind. Then, what I was saying with mum, I plan to stay here and work for about another 5 years, maybe less, unless I get to find a better alternative in the meantime, and in five years’ time I will have paid off the house (hopefully) and will be virtually free from responsibilities. It’s just that I don’t want to leave all the heavy paying on mum’s tired shoulders, and I think I can “sacrifice” for a few more years. I will still be young when I quit this awful place in four or five years. Younger than Christ, so they say.
Anyway.

All this writing is, again, only useful to calm me down. This, and the gym tonight. The weather outside is beautiful, and it’s almost time for those relaxing after-dinner walks, for the bike rides in the weekend, for ice-cream. Lovely. And smooth.

Next on my list, on this afternoon without my boss (only for the next..uh, 20 minutes, I’m afraid) is a brainstorm on a new story I have been thinking of for quite a while.
And I promise, I promise, I promise not to watch more than two episodes a day of my beloved. Really. Seriously. Truly.
….Well…at least I’ll try (and those dvd will end some day, right?).

Wednesday, 14th

Two days later, now writing on a quiet hot Wednesday afternoon, I have updates on the house-that-will-be. Or not.
One more reason for not going back to talking to my father: he’s a bastard. Now he says he’s not happy about signing that paper which would divide the house accordingly. Oh really? So, mum and I should keep up with a second job, put a hell of a lot of money for the next 5 to 7 years, contribute straight away with some hundred thousand euros which my mum has been saving for the past two years, while he is not going to work even single hour more per day (when he only works what, 5 hours a day?) and actually says that he may decide not to contribute to the weekly shopping…and after all this he does not want to share??? God, I must be dreaming this.
It makes me so angry. So incredibly, completely, helplessly angry.
So we don’t know if anything will be done after all; and this, in a way, opens a lot of doors for me. Or just a big one. The big door to freedom.
A door to going on with this job only for a few months and then quit, move, go somewhere else and start again. Sort of.
I have been writing covering letters and sending applications most of the afternoon, only to find myself with three urgent translations to complete and send to my angry boss. I’ve been dreaming all day, and since yesterday, of a better place, a better life. I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking, and having sore eyes from uninterrupted internet looking for job opportunities everywhere. I am not even scared about going really far, because I see that there is nothing here for me anymore, safe for my mum.
I don’t know how this whole house-thing will go on. Honestly I don’t care. I am going to send more applications, look for more jobs, continue the quest! Something will happen, right? Soon or late? I am not just standing here being carried away by the flow, I am actually taking action, and this is supposed to lead me somewhere. Hopefully.

But I am talking nonsense now, and it’s almost time to go home and run. And relax with milk and fruit and my S&H.
More will follow, as usual. Depending on the internet connection at home, that is...

(More than) ten days made of...

...
being forced to switch on the new Blogger so that now I cannot post from work anymore...Thanks, Blogger!!! (I will post from home once a week only, now, and for two reasons: number one, I began this blog because I have spare time at work and when I am at home I have better things to do than spend hours sitting in front of a screen..as if I didn't do enough at work; number two, internet at home is sooooo slow).
More gym and what comes with it, a total anti-depressive therapy of music, work out, laughs with S&S guy & the lot.
More internet shopping...lots of dvd's, I confess, including the whole four series of "Starsky & Hutch " (couldn't resist).
Little social life and lot of sleeping and reading and running.
A governement crisis that almost lead to anticipated elections (anticipated as in...more than FOUR YEARS earlier than expected!); but things are ok now, and we may overcome this bad time. Hope is free...
And, last but not least, I have just booked our weekend in Prague, in May, and am in the middle of the plan for summer vacations, which will see me and adventurous mum heading for Budapest and then travel by boat (!!!) all the way to Wien. Yes we are this mad.
And outside, ladies and gentlemen, it's Spring.
Fantastic.