Let's just be friends.

So be it.
I am crying too much to be able to write anything about it. We both cried so much all of yesterday, praying, feeling strange. I went to bed in tears, woke up crying, wandered about Brighton crying, sat at the cafe' outside the Pavillion, with my cup of tea, trying to write a list of things to do, tears streaming down my face.
I feel lost.
And scared.
One thing makes me feel slightly better, and that is his text, last night, where he used an expression I had just taught him, to say "I love you" for friends. He didn't use the ordinary one, but the special one, the "love from deep inside my soul", all in capital letters.
My heart is broken, and it hurts so much. I feel lost, scared, and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.